The Final Weeks

It sure has been a minute. There is a lot to tell you all about! There has been so much fun and growth since the last post! I have done new things and re-experienced old things in new and refreshing ways!

During the tropical storm that came through we grabbed a skim board and went to find a part of the property where we could skim. We eventually found a spot that worked really well. We all took turns trying it out. Then after a while a few people started lightly tossing mud at each other and I joined them. It was so freeing and exciting. To release and allow yourself to become that wet and muddy and truly be fully present in the moment, feeling all of the excitement and joy in the moment is such a freeing experience. It eventually turned into a full on mud fight. Bhati started trying to get me good however I kept dodging all of his throws until  he finally got a good one on me. Once the mud fight was over I laid in the grass to recoup and the others went back to skimming. Before we all went back up to the top Bhati and I wrestled in the mud. It was my first mud wrestle and I had the upper hand there in the beginning, but I started to quickly become exhausted and then I tapped from exhaustion. Playing in the mud has been some of the most fun I have ever had! To be there with everyone in the rain and mud, giggling, being ourselves and allowing ourselves to become so wet and dirty was such a wonderful experience that I will cherish forever.

At some point between then and now we also went skating. I haven’t been skating in so many years. This skating rink also had a small arcade and laser tag. We bought this package that had unlimited laser tag, 10 credits for the arcade and skating. I tried the speed skates to begin with however they were tricky to get used to and even once I started to get the hang of them I wasn’t able to go super fast. I switched over to roller blades after a while and they were much easier to manage and I was able to go much faster on them. We skated around for a bit and Cesar told me how to skate backwards so I also started working on that. Once Saucha got off of work we all left to go meet him at this pizza place called Bobbys Hot and Cheesy. Saucha had really hyped the place up. It was a nice looking place with a cupcake store next door. I split a chocolate cupcake with Saucha and it was pretty good, I also couldn’t have eaten a whole one. Where we sat down we were in great view of a TV playing the last episode of Avatar the Last Airbender. They also had some great pizza options. I got the medium with half Mushroom Goat Cheese and Arugula and the other half was some kind of spinach pizza. It was really delicious. Definitely worth the hype but also not the best pizza I have ever had. After we got done eating we went back to the skating rink and they let all of us back in so we didn’t have to pay again (we called before hand to make sure that was okay). Saucha loves to skate and he is also incredibly good at it. I have never really seen someone skate with so much ease. We played tag a few times which was so much fun and also something I have never done before while skating. It was the kind of tag where whenever you get tagged you join the taggers team. I also kept practicing skating backwards and I was really starting to get the hang of it. My turn arounds were getting better and more stable and I was able to go straight into skating backwards without hesitating by the end. I was incredibly happy and impressed that I picked it up. The laser tag was fun however the space was small and having that many people in there did take away from it a little because there was always someone at every corner. My vest also messed up twice before I changed vest. I did fall and bust my ass many times. Especially my tail bone. I fell on it 3 times, the 2nd time I actually winced and laid there for a second and the 3rd time further injured it. It is actually still sore whenever I move a certain way or if I sit on the ground and roll onto my back. It’s nothing that is majorly affecting what I can and can’t do. I also got 2 giant blisters on the insides of both my feet and was pretty sore the following days (I had also been really putting in the work so that added to it). All in all it was an absolutely wonderful experience. It was really nice to create new more loving and fulfilling memories with something that I grew up doing and to do it with some truly fantastic beings really adds so much to it.

During the next week or so we did various things to help us close down the Ashram for the winter. We cut the trees down on the berm by the pond. Originally without knowing the reason why it was unfortunate and upsetting to see the trees getting cut down. However the reason makes sense. The reasoning behind it is that the tree roots bury throughout the whole berm and since they are bringing lots of water through that area it is eroding that area which over time would cause the berm to wash away, the pond would flood out over the garden and that area would become inaccessible. We harvested a lot of crops from the garden and also prepped a few rows for crops to grow during the winter. There was a lot of squash harvested and with all of it Anusha made a lot of squash bread. It is similar to banana bread however to me it tasted way better. She also made a few variations with it using banana slices, chocolate chips and walnuts in different combinations. We also cut some rounds out of a downed rainbow poplar tree to be chopped into firewood. I haven’t chopped wood since I was a kid and I was able to chop wood literally all day. It is so satisfying and fulfilling to just chop wood all day, especially when you get into a rhythm with it. We eventually had to move the stuff from under the white cabin to other places so that we would have space to put all the wood that has been chopped because the wood shed behind the green cabin filled up. I hauled the clay that’ll be used to make cob for the inside of Saucha and Gudus’ house up to a giant bag by there house. We dug a drainage trench for Jnandas’ house. We also started watching the Lord of the Rings movies because a lot of people here love them and I had also never seen them. We’ve split them up into segments and we are going to start the 3rd one soon. Someone was also kicked off the property because they violated the no substances rule and it was interesting and beneficial to see how that was handled and to see the boundaries of this place maintained. We have really gotten a lot done and I am continuing to learn so much.

After the final work week we all went to the beach. Saucha had planned a surf trip to the Outer Banks and then the week of the trip he opened it up for everyone to come out. We all pitched in on an air bnb and we all went. There were 10 of us in 5 separate cars (that turned into 4 cars). Friday morning we all made some breakfast and packed up the cars. There was a situation that morning where they were going to test something with the water tanks and the power from the electrical line wasn’t working. Saucha said the line must’ve been sliced at some point in the trenching and burying process. He had to deal with that and help find a solution so that what the other people were doing could be finished up and he could get packed up and leave. Saucha and Gudu went straight down to the Outer Banks when they left, Bhati and Sully left when Bhati got off of work, Cesar left after his orientation, Maryliz, Jacob and Ayana left before everyone else so they could drop some stuff off in Charlottesville and Yasamin, Anusha and I left after their dentist appointments. Before we left for the appointments we cleaned out the white cabin since Maryliz, Anusha and Yasamin were moving to Charlottesville. Once we got to Martinsville for the dentist we dropped Yasamin off because her appointment was first and Anusha and I went to get snacks from the store for the drive. While we were out Maryliz called us and said her serpentine belt snapped off and she had a minor oil leak. Luckily Jacob was there and was able to aid her with the mechanics of it all. They got the stuff unloaded in Charlottesville and Cesar picked them up on his way down. With that I decided it would be a good idea to check my oil since it was a little past due for an oil change. Good thing I checked because my oil was very low, so after Anusha and Yasamin got done with their appointments we went to Take 5 to get my oil changed. After that we stopped in Danville for some food. It was a cute little city with a lot of old buildings that had been renovated. Yasamin and I got fro-yo smoothies and Anusha got some BBQ. My smoothie was delicious. When we left for the Outer Banks it was around 7pm and it was about a 6 hour drive. It was a really nice drive down, traffic was never an issue and there was lots of good music and conversation. Around 10pm we stopped at an Exxon for a bathroom break and so I could get coffee and gas because there was still about 2 1/2 hours of driving left. That coffee is 100% the worst coffee I have ever had. It did what it needed to but man it was horrible. After that stop we went the whole way there.

The original plan was to stay at this campground type place and car camp/set up hammocks/tents, however this cop came by and told Saucha and Gudu they couldn’t sleep in that area so they found this Dollar General and stayed in the parking lot. We all met there for the night. The rest of us were about to set up near the bushes behind the DG and stay there until Saucha came out and told us that that was a very sketchy idea and an easy way to get caught. Then we decided to stay in the cars. The ladies slept in my car Jacob, Cesar and I slept in Cesars car (until Jacob couldn’t sleep so he went to wander and find a spot to sleep). We all woke up early the next morning. Maryliz and I followed Saucha, Gudu and Anusha to find a spot to surf at. Cesars car came too but after the first stop they went to do their own thing. Once we found a spot we unloaded our stuff and went onto the beach. Saucha and Anusha went to surf and I went to swim. When I was a kid I never really went too far out into the water because I was afraid of not seeing my feet and what was out there that I also couldn’t see and over the years that fear has gone away. Especially recently with all of the lakes and rivers I have been in. I was also really excited to be able to swim so I just went straight into the water and went out to a good depth to swim and float. I pretty much stayed in the water until we left for lunch. I got out a few times to chill out, play some hacky sack, skim board and to practice my handstands but for the most part I was in the water. It was such a beautiful experience. Just being out there going under the crashing waves, bobbing with the ones still forming, getting hit by waves here and there and just feeling the energy and aliveness of the ocean. The currents were strong this day and I kept getting pulled down the beach but it was really fun especially trying to swim against the current. We went to some restaurant that I forgot the name of around lunchtime. Bhati and Sully finally made it down by that point. I got a veggie burger and it was really good. We went back out to a spot near the restaurant after lunch and stayed there for some time. We then went to the air bnb to unpack and chill out for a bit. It took a minute to figure out dinner that everyone wanted. Once we did the majority of people went out to pick up pizza and a few ingredients from the store, Anusha and I went up to this gas station called “The Blue Whale” to get ingredients to make a dinner and Gudu and Saucha made their own thing. The Blue Whale is such a nice store. They literally have everything and they even sell some local produce and their own coffee (which was also really good). We bought the ingredients to make a chili and I also bought a new hacky sack because they had some really good ones. We went back to the airbnb which was literally a minute down the road and started to prepare and cook everything. We put potatoes, tomatoes, onions, kidney beans, black beans (I think one other kind of bean I don’t really remember), a mustardy bbq sauce and since we had no seasonings in the house Anusha crushed up some tomato basil wheat thins and tossed those in. We also grabbed some biscuits to make with it. It honestly came out pretty well and I enjoyed it. It also made a TON of chili. We spent $15 each and that chili ended up lasting us 3-4 meals. The next day we left out a little later than we had planned on. Saucha ended up just going out on the beach right there where the airbnb was because the swell was good for what he was looking for. Since Anusha is learning how to surf and I just wanted to swim we got in the car and headed north. We checked a few spots and eventually ended up going like 50 minutes north before we found a solid spot. The spot we found was really nice too. Anusha went out to practice surfing and I went in to swim. They had the double red flag and a no swimming one however I was swimming in basically the same water the day before so I ignored it a bit. I swam around for a bit cycling between going in the water and going on the surf to chill, practice hand stands and also hacky sack. After a while out there we decided to go get some snacks. We walked over to the 7/11 to get snacks and then we both saw the donuts and decided against gas station donuts, however we still wanted donuts. We drove up the road to this place called Duck Donuts. It was a really cute place. They had a good variety of cake donuts and they made all their donuts to order. We got a dark chocolate raspberry filled donut (they place the filling in the center instead of injecting it) and a regular glazed donut. We also got breakfast sandwiches which were just the classic egg and cheese/bacon egg and cheese on english muffins. We started with the chocolate donut and wow. Just wow. I have never had a donut so fresh and so delicious. It truly stands at the top for the greatest donut I have ever had. It was so flavorful and fluffy and it absolutely melted in my mouth. Once we finished that donut we ate the breakfast sandwiches and then finished off with the glazed donut. It was such a delicious and fun meal. After that we went back to the airbnb for a bit to chill and then we went back out with the others to a different spot and stayed there for a bit. At one point we were all sitting in the sand chatting and we started to bury ourselves in the sand which was fun. After staying there we split up cars. Nishka went back home, Suacha, Gudu, Anusha and I went to this restaurant up the road and got some food and the others were doing their own thing. The only vegetarian option they had was mac n cheese (it was definitely kraft) but luckily I had been snacking for a minute before we got there. It was a really nice place too. It is right next to the bay with a really nice outside seating area with a really nice view. After that we headed back to the airbnb. Saucha, Gudu and Anusha had pod and I went out to the ocean to do my practices. It was magnificent. The moon was almost full, the air was at the perfect warmth where you just want to sit and enjoy the wind blowing past you. The waves were very relaxing and great to listen. After they finished pod we went back out for ice cream. The first place we went to wasn’t accepting more customers because they closed at 7 and had a very long line. We went on down to The Blue Whale and got some pints and went back to the airbnb. I got a chocolate one and ended up eating the whole thing. It was really delicious. Chocolate is truly the best sweet treat ever. The last day Saucha, Anusha and I went back out to the water early morning. The swell was a lot smaller this day and much better for a beginner and still had some good waves that Saucha was happy with. It was great for swimming in as well. It is really so wonderful just floating in the ocean and feeling the energy of the water, the push and pull of the waves, watching the sunrise as you play with the waves and admire the animals around you. We left around 8am to go back to the airbnb to pack everything up because check out was at 10am. We got everything cleaned up and loaded up pretty fast and efficiently. With all of us working together it went very smooth. After we packed up we all went back out to the beach one last time. We played one game of tag and for the most part I continued doing the same thing I had been doing. Swimming, skimming, handstands, hacky sack and chilling. We stayed out there until around 1-2 and then we packed up and left. I was getting sunburnt all the other days especially since I didn’t use sunscreen but it wasn’t ever that bad. However this day I got roasted, especially my face. I did however chill on the beach more than any other day. It hurt a little to take a shower later. When we left we went to this poke bowl place near where we were and a good portion of the group hadn’t ever really had one. It was a good bowl. They also had vegan steak which I had never seen before. We were going to get Duck Donuts as a group too however they had just closed before we got there. Once we were done eating Saucha and Gudu left and Maryliz, Yasamin, Anusha, Cesar, Sully and I went to the store for some snacks and drinks. After that Cesar and Sully headed back home and the ladies and I went for ice cream and coffee. I got a chocolate ice cream in a homemade waffle cone and it was huge, absolutely way too much ice cream. The coffee shop we went to was super cute and had great coffee. Definitely a redemption from that Exxon coffee. Once we made all of our stops we headed to Charlottesville. This trip was incredibly magickal. I had experienced the beach in a new way with a fresh perspective with a group of truly magnificent people. Being there aided me in better being able to truly feel and see the Divine Nature in all things and to see the Divine in all beings. I felt a great increase in my Divine momentums during this trip. I am incredibly grateful for this experience and all that it aided me with and all of the fun I had.

The drive to Charlottesville was really nice. We went through this really huge rainstorm at one point and then after there was one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen. I also called and chatted with this host in Oregon about staying on their farm/homestead during the winter. It was a great conversation, they were very open, honest and kind people. The other day they accepted my request to stay so I will now be leaving sometime between October 10th-October 20th to go to Oregon. There are multiple stops I am planning on making on my way out there. I will be staying there until January 31st. More information on what’s to come after that and what I will be doing there will come soon. Once we arrived we unloaded a few things, ate a little food. I showered and went to bed. The next day Maryliz dropped her car off at the mechanic and then we went grocery shopping, dropped off a package, took Yasamin to her interview and took Anusha to the bike shop (which was next door to where Yasamin was interviewing). It was a really nice and helpful bike shop. They said they let people test drive the bikes for 15 minutes if they want to. She eventually found the bike she wanted with the modifications she wanted as well. They had to make the modifications on the bike so we left and went to the store. Yasamin had finished her interview and got the job as well. We went to Trader Joes and Whole foods. They stocked up on quite a bit of stuff and I got some goodies myself. I got a 1 pound bar of dark chocolate, some lentil soup, a block of Dubliner cheese and other treats. It was actually some of the most fun I have ever had in the grocery store. Also whole foods hot bar section is absolutely insane. It’s basically a very nice expensive buffet. After we got the groceries we went back to the bike shop to pick up the bike. I noticed a bike with slick tires on it and I was curious about it and the guy said that it’s an all terrain bike however it’s basically useless in the rain and it also likes to go fast. He let me test drive it and he was right. It picked up speed so fast even going up hill. I would love to own a bike like that. I would be biking through the streets and/or woods at some very high speeds and it would be so fun. After we picked up the bike we went back to the house. Anusha let me test drive her new bike when we got back and it was the smoothest most comfortable bike I have ever rode. We unloaded all of the groceries. We made some food and while it was cooking we unloaded everything else from the car. Nishka came by to help as well. We started taking things upstairs too. Once the food was done we took a break to watch Pirates of the Caribbean and eat. Anusha told me she was going to deep clean and vacuumed my car for me and she did and she did an excellent job. I am incredibly grateful for it as well since it got super sandy from the beach and stinky from the wet clothes that had been in there. It had also been a while since it was deep cleaned. I left the next morning very early to get back to the Ashram around 7-8am to help out for the work day. I was going to leave around 4-5am but I woke up at 3am and couldn’t go back to sleep so I left at 3:30am. I had such a fun time in Charlottesville. It is such a cute area and very easy for bikers/runners/walkers to get around as well as cars. They have a lot of interesting restaurants and coffee shops. Being able to help the ladies unpack all of their stuff, help them with groceries and everything else that they needed help with was a lot of fun and I am grateful I was able to help them with settling in to their new place.

It was only a 2 1/2 hour drive back to the Ashram. I was doing great with the drive back and the closer I got I was starting to get a little sleepy. I have been much sleepier driving than I was this morning. I was about 15 minutes away from the Ashram and I dozed off slightly and went a little off the road in a curve. When I jerked back onto the road I went over the double yellow a bit and a car was coming my way so I freaked slightly and slammed on the breaks and jerked back over to the right and went right off the road, up the embankment a bit and then back down onto the road. It was very rough and bumpy. I sat there for just a second and then decided to drive up to where I could pull off the road and check out the car. When I started driving I heard a sound and knew a tired had popped. Once I got off the road I put my headlamp on and got out. The front left tire was shredded, the rim was fine, the splash guard in the wheel well of the right tire was slightly broken, and the coolant tank was leaking and it seemed that a small hose had popped off of it. All of it seemed very minor. I turned off the car and pulled out my phone to call Gudu or Saucha to let them know the situation. I realized I had no service so I was going to start walking however I didn’t know which direction to walk or how long I would be walking for. I also didn’t want to wake the house I was in front of at 5 or 6 in the morning. Luckily this truck came around the corner and I flagged him down. I asked if he could take me up the road so I could get service. He said he couldn’t take me far because he had a meeting to go to but he took me where I needed to go. By far it wasn’t that far and once I got service I told him to drop me off on the side of the road. I called Gudu and Saucha and told them what happened and Gudu said she would come pick me up. I ran back to my car because it would’ve taken a minute to walk back. I got back and accessed the situation again and just hung out until Gudu got there. Once Gudu got there we got some stuff out of my car and put some sticky notes on my car and the home owners glass screen door about what the situation was and my name and number. We couldn’t call a tow truck until 8:30am because Franklin Tire didn’t open until then, so we just left the car and went back to the Ashram to eat breakfast and get the stuff we needed to go grocery shopping. I am honestly incredibly grateful for this experience and it really showed me how much I have grown. I remained calm, knew what I needed to do and I did it. I didn’t break down and get upset about the situation I was in or the state my car was in. I knew that all would be well. I was able to stay centered and remain grateful that the situation was not worse and for the lessons I was learning. Not only that but now I am going to get all new tires on my car and definitely the other stuff fixed as well. The guy from the tire shop hasn’t called me back yet about the estimate on pricing and time but it has only been a day or so and he said he was busy when we originally called. Doing groceries was also a lot of fun and a nice way to take it easy after the morning. It was my first time doing the grocery run. Gudu and I stopped by this coffee shop called the Sweet Donkey and it was a really cutesy place. I got an americano and I also bought a cute hat. It was a really nice experience.

Here is all that has happened since then as well. There was a work day. I took this canvas that was covering the roof off of the pergola. Then I helped Sully dig these post out of the ground and then chopped some wood. The next day was an off day. I did some practices, took 2 naps, read a little bit and wrote most of this post. It has been a very chill and relaxing day. The other day was a work day and we got the shed at the front of the property moved to behind the white cabin. It was a bit of a process and kinda sketchy. The trailer we had was one that had sat for a while so both tires were flat and rotted. It also didn’t entirely fit on the hitch. However we got the shed on the trailer and it managed to make it all the way to its destination just fine. The left rubber tire of the trailer did fall off and the right one almost did. After that we went up to Saucha and Gudus’ house to prepare it because it is getting the outside plastered on monday. I learned how to mix cob and started using it to start filling in some holes along the outside of the wall to make plastering easier and so that the plaster isn’t just filling holes. I became extremely exhausted towards the end of the work day and I also had a lot of stuff surfacing which slowed down my work pace. I allowed it to be there and embraced it with Love and Gratitude and I didn’t shame or judge it. After the work day I went straight to the hammock and took an incredible nap. I felt much better and energized afterwards. I then took a shower and went by the pond to do my practices. After that I made some food and chilled for the night. Yesterday was a poopy day, literally. Devaaya, Jacob, Sully and I emptied all of the containers that holds the poop and pee from the composting toilets into the human-manure compost pile which is separate and much further away from the regular compost and main spaces. I felt I was prepared for it in some way considering I had grown up with inside dogs. Which it did help but it was nothing compared to dumping +1600lbs of shit that had been sitting and marinating. It was a very fascinating experience and really aided me in embracing the moment and whatever situation I am in. I also got to experience a necessary part of sustainable living that uses this method of composting toilet. All in all it really wasn’t as bad as it may sound. We had good music going, we were rolling some mantras, and honestly just embracing the task at hand I was able to let go and enjoy the moment. After the poop time we showered and put our poop clothes in a trash bag to keep separate from the other dirty clothes. After the poop we went back to preparing the house for the plaster and got a quick lesson in how to mix it. After the work day I started to feel a lot of things arise all at once very strongly too. I sat there with these feelings for some time, then I wrote down all that I was feeling and some other thoughts that were arising concerning these feelings. Then I did a few practices and started to feel more at ease afterwards. Then I went to water a few plants in the garden. Today is the day that we plastered the house. I was on mixing the plaster the whole day. We used a mixer and the ratio is 3 parts sand 1 part lime and eyeball the water and straw. We were using 1 1/2 buckets of sand and a 1/2 bucket of lime. Eventually Devaaya brought a truckload of coarse sand it the ratio became 2 parts fine sand 1 part coarse sand to make up the 3 parts sand. It would then be 1 bucket of fine sand and a 1/2 bucket of coarse sand. We were using a flipped ratio with the sand when it first got there however the plaster wasn’t sticking the way it was supposed to so we switched it up. They had a plaster sprayer which was great because it helped start the plaster in some spots so that a better layer could be put over it easier. There was 2 people Saucha hired to help plaster plus himself and Devaaya on troweling. Jacob and Sully were being helping hands which was great especially for mixing. Getting the lime was the most time consuming part of the process and having one of them grab a bucket for me while I was mixing a batch aided me in being able to mix batches at a much more efficient rate. It was a great experience and I really learned a lot.

Before I finish this post off if anyone has any specific questions about my time here feel free to ask and I will answer them in the next post :)

These past few months have been absolutely amazing. They are full of growth, lessons learned, fun moments, building and transmuting momentums. I have had lots of momentums brought to my attention and I have been able to chisel away at them. Especially certain momentums that have been quite strong and prominent for some time that I didn’t entirely realize. It has been nice getting to work through these. I am incredibly grateful for all of the lessons and opportunities for growth. It has been nice to also go and do so many fun things and re-experience things I used to do often. I have greatly enjoyed growing and getting to know all of the fantastic people here at the Ashram. I leave from here at the end of next week. I have so much Love for all of the people I have met and connected with here. I am so incredibly grateful for all that I have learned, all of the growth, and all of the fun. I feel more centered in Divine Love than ever before and I feel more on the path and knowing where I am headed and what I must do than I ever have. This place has aided me tremendously. Words can’t do justice to what this place has aided me with and how much Love I have for this community. I will definitely be returning here with new knowledge to help aid this place in growing. Thank you all so very much for everything. I Love you all so very much and I have so much gratitude for everyone I have gotten to know here and all of the experiences we have shared. I look forward to seeing you all again :)

Thank you all for reading!

With the most Love and Gratitude

Benji :)

“As One grows We all grow”

- Satguru Yogi Phrabu Jnanda Moksha Bhramananda