Living My Truth

Namaste Everyone :)

It sure has been a while. It has been quite an exciting few weeks. A lot things have happened, lots of growth and new understandings. I could write a whole book about the past few weeks, however since I don’t remember everything I couldn’t do that. There are some wild stories and good stuff to talk about tho.

To start I will tell you a story of an event from a few weeks ago around the time of my last post. A group of us went to this river at this very beautiful place called Anahata. Cesar, Sully, Anusha and I went to get kayakes up stream a bit. Sully and Cesar got into some kayaks and Anusha and I swam back. However it was kinda shallow so it wasn’t much of a swim back. Once we got back down stream Sully went further than the rest of us, Yasamin and Cesar paddled around, I meditated and swam in the deeper area and Anusha was doing her own thing. After a bit I heard Anusha screaming like she was having a great time so I turned to look and she had found a rope swing. I went to go join her because you just can’t pass up a good opportunity to swing on a rope swing with your friends. We played on the swing for a bit and we realized it’s more fun to swing than jump in because the water was too shallow. We also found a stick to tie onto the swing for a handle. After a bit we went to go find Sully since he went further than the rest of us. He actually wasn’t that far and then the 3 of us went back to the rope swing. We continued to play around on it for a bit longer. At one point Anusha was on the swing and when she came back around to the bank she would run and jump back off to build momentum and keep going. On one of the turns after she did that she said “Ow okay I need some help”. As we were helping her get back on the bank I noticed something dangling off her foot so my thought was that she stepped on a briar. Well once she was on the ground and we could look at it we realized that it was actually a piece of barbed wire that had gone through her toe. When we noticed what the situation was Sully ran to get medical supplies and inform the others what happened. I carried Anusha over to the area that was more open and accessible and where everyone would be. Once we got over there she cut the excess off the wire and left just what was in her toe. Someone went around to gather our things while I pulled the car around. We had to get a little bit off of the property to get the directions to the closest ER and called 911 to make sure they were open. Then we texted the others that were still at Anahata what happened and asked if they could make sure we didn’t leave anything whenever they leave. The ER was about 30 minutes away and when we got there I carried Anusha in and set her in a wheelchair and told the check in lady what the emergency was. They got her checked in and then we waited for them to do another check in of the situation, then for her to get her x-ray. The whole time we waited we were honestly having a good time, having some really great empowering conversations, snacking on all of the fruits and snacks we had gotten that day. There was even a point where a baby was looking at us and giggling and it was the cutest thing ever. Then once the x-ray was back and they knew that it didn’t go through the bone they numbed the toe and we went back to waiting for the numbing to kick in. Since I drove my car the others were picked up by Nishka so that they could get home at a decent time and get some rest so that they could be up for A block work in the morning. Then we went back in to get it pulled out and that was surprisingly a quick process. After that we waited for her antibiotic and discharge papers. The whole time this was going on she was incredibly calm and collected, way more than I would’ve expected. While we waited to be discharged we just rolled some Om Namah Shivayah, watched half an episode of spongebob (it was honestly a little mind numbing so we stopped watching it) and had some great conversations. Then we left, went home and I slept so good and I got to sleep in during A block since we got back late.

Since then nothing crazy has happened but there has been a lot of fun with work, hanging out and doing practices. I helped in the garden, the silvo pasture, the build sight and I also did laundry recently for the first time. One big thing we accomplished recently was we dug, laid and covered the water line from the new water system that was installed. It pulls the water from the well, filters it, stores it in 2 giant tanks, pressurizes it at 60psi and sends it down the hill where it needs to go. Now we don’t have to worry about if it’s cloudy if the water will run out or not and also the water now has good pressure behind it. We also buried the electrical line for the kitchen and 3 of the cabins so that now we don’t have drop chords running everything. It has been a lot of digging and physical labor which is amazing. I see these types of things as getting a workout in and being able to contribute to the community and test my physical limits. We also started closing down the garden recently. Some compost bins for the kitchen compost have been built as well. All the straw bales there were extra and were taking up space in Saucha and Gudus’ house have been moved out. I have met lots of new people as well. The other week was Nishkas birthday. We went and had a potluck at Anahata. They have tons of instruments so while we waited to get started we played a bunch of music and made up the coolest birthday song I have ever heard for Nishka. Then we ate and had cake which was all incredibly delicious. Then we went and swam for a few minutes before we left. I didn’t really feel like getting in but I did swing on the rope swing (with shoes on this time). Then we all left to go to this planetarium (I forgot where it was at it was some college in the general area). I was expecting something to do with planets and I was entirely wrong. It was more of a light show where there were different lights and patterns that were absolutely mesmerizing with really nice calming music in the background while a speaker named James Hood was saying some very profound and insightful bits of information in the background. It was such a wonderful experience. After that we went to a Hibachi restaurant. Our chef matched the vibe perfectly. The rest of the place seemed pretty low energy but he really brought the good energy with him. It was a great time and really good food. We left there and went to the store to buy ice cream. I got the So Delicious brand of non dairy ice cream and I got the chocolate fudge flavor. It was some of the best most tastiest ice cream I have ever had and it was gone before we made it back home. Yesterday we did a lot of cleanup and preparation for this tropical storm that we are currently getting. We are supposed to get 8in of rain which is bananas but also fun because I love the rain.

Recently more things have been coming up for me to work through which I am incredibly grateful for. The day of Nishkas birthday I was getting slammed with all kinds of things arising such as anger from certain situations, sadness and many other things from fear momentums that have been created over the years. It was amazing tho because it was the first time I truly allowed what I was feeling and thinking to arise and be there and give it the space, love and light it needs so that it isn’t kept suppressed. I also didn’t judge or shame any of the thoughts and feelings that arose which was a monumental step for me. During my mentor meeting the other week I was also able to bring into the light and say/talk about something that I have never told anyone nor accepted myself for the past 10-13 years. It was incredibly freeing to let that out without fear of being judged and to be met with love, compassion and understanding. It was such a glorious moment and another monumental leap in my growth. My weekly calls with Jnanda have been great as well. He is helping me work through that deep rooted fear momentum that I let bottle inside of me for so many years and I am also learning new and better ways to survive and thrive. Before I came here I started to stagnate in my spiritual journey and I knew that there were things deep within me that needed to be worked through but I was unable to bring them to the surface and properly work through them so that I could really grow, transform and release what is holding me back. Now after being here I am working through those things step by step in a way that isn’t overwhelming and is most beneficial for my being. I would say it can be difficult when these things arise and working through them but the ego is the only thing that uses labels especially of the fear type. It is actually really exciting to be finally working through these energy veils so that I can really grow in the way that I must.

Starting to travel to grow and learn is the best decision I have ever made. I am doing exactly what I want and must do. I am learning so so so much and growing incredibly. I am becoming better able to be apart of the solution instead of the problem. I am growing my connection to the Divine. I am actively making my dreams come true by what I am doing right now and I am making a positive impact on the collective by what I am doing. There have been many, many opportunities present themselves that I will go into further detail about in the next post. Where I am now, where I am headed and what I am doing is truly lovely and magickal. If you are feeling called to do something, make a change, stop doing something you know isn’t beneficial for you, up and leave and pursue a different path than what you are on, know there is a route you could take to make your dreams come true do it. Do it with your whole being and you will get to where you need to be learning and growing in the ways that are best for you.

I love you all way more than words could even begin to describe. I hope you are all doing well and are choosing Love. I hope you are choosing to be apart of the solution instead of the problem. Don’t let fear stand in the way of you doing what you must do. You are incredible and you have the power to do anything. And always remember, “It is not how fast the flower blooms, but the fact that it blooms.” - Jnanda

With all the Love and Gratitude,

I will see you next time :)

“Freedom springs from truth, wisdom springs from love of truth and selflessness springs from sacrifice to know truth.”

- Satguru Yogi Phrabu Jnanda Moksha Bhramananda