Returning to SC
Namaste’ Everyone :)
It hasn’t been that long but I feel so much has happened. I will start off where I last left off in Virginia.
The next day after day 1 of plastering was supposed to be an off day however Saucha asked if he could hire me for the day to mix the plaster so that they could finish the first coat. I happily said yes. Running the mixer was a lot of fun and a bit of a workout so I enjoyed it greatly! Since we were all on top of it the whole time the entire first coat went on in 2 days. That may be my first experience with plastering, (especially a straw bale house) but I am very impressed with how quick and how well it all went. I am very grateful to have been a part of that experience. The following days Sully, Jacob and I got these footers out of the ground. Footers are wooden post that have been cemented into the ground. First we dug them out a few weeks ago. Then we came back this week and broke the concrete off of them and hauled the concrete and post out, then filled the holes back in. We had to do it that way because Devaaya left a few days beforehand so we couldn’t use the truck to pull them out. It was fun getting to whack concrete with a sledgehammer and chat with the boys. I don’t remember what morning this was but we got up at 4:30am to do a Kirtan Walk. It was Saucha, Gudu, Ayana, Devaaya, Sully and I. We chose a mantra to sing and we walked from the kitchen/cabin area all the way to the front gate and back. It was incredibly beautiful and so much fun! It is by far my most favorite way to wake up. I felt so ready for the day and had a strong energy flow for the entirety of the day. We also finished The Lord of The Rings which is an absolutely incredible movie collection. I haven’t been on the edge of my seat like that for any movie. That man Samwise is the man. He held it down and stuck by Frodos’ side through the toughest of situations. There is so much that can be learned from Sam. I highly recommend watching those movies in the extended versions. One of the last days there Sully, Jacob and I cleaned the bathrooms and showers and finished cleaning the kitchen which I hadn’t done yet. It was a fun time and really rewarding to have those spaces nice, clean and organized. Friday I packed most of my stuff up and then Ayana had to run to Floyd so I asked if I could come with and we could go to Cocoa Mia. We left for Floyd and went to where she needed to go first. Then we went to Cocoa Mia. I got the sipping chocolate of course and their GF chocolate cake. The sipping chocolate was excellent. The cake was good but it could’ve had a stronger chocolate flavor. After we left there we were walking to the car and we noticed Sauchas truck so we were going to cross the street and come up beside him to say hello. Since the cross walk lights don’t always give the walk symbol he ended up coming our way and stop for a second to say hey. He was going to suggest we all go get Cocoa Mia together but we had beat him to it. After that Ayana and I went to this really cool plant shop next door to Cocoa Mia. It was so cool in there. They had so many plants I have never seen. They also had a lot of terrarium plants and jars which I had never seen in a plant shop before. The people in there were really friendly too which was great. It was a wonderful experience. After that we went to this thrift shop across the road. It was alright. Nothing in there really peaked my interest except for one CD. We looked through the whole place and when we were going to check out I was looking at the counter and I saw a sign that said “Cash Only”. It was unfortunate because Ayana had a whole stack of CDs. Then we left, went back to the car and headed back to the Ashram. It was a wonderful experience that I am very grateful for! That night after dinner we all gathered to have a fun little meeting. Since people are working and going to school we don’t get to see each other as often so it was a meeting to go over a few things and to also check in with each other to see how the past week has been. It was a really pleasant experience which I am incredibly grateful for. The next morning I finished packing all of my things and took down Samas’ tent before I left. I said my see ya laters and got on the road.
I left around noon for Tennessee and I went straight to the coffee shop because I always like to have some coffee on a long drive. Before I even pulled into the coffee shop I noticed things starting to arise. I was noticing some anxiety and self consciousness. I recognized it, allowed it to be there, felt it while also remaining centered in Divine Love. It was great because it showed me a fear momentum that I had forgotten about. After I left the coffee shop I settled in for a 3ish hour drive. I had occasional slight fears of running off the road (from just recently doing so) and also getting pulled over (which also stems from a momentum created from past behaviors). That one was interesting because it showed me that that momentum is still there however it isn’t as strong as it used to be and I was able to chisel away at it as I drove. For the most part that drive was the most free I have ever felt. I was just out there with the windows down and the music up. Feeling the warmth of the sun and the wind as it flows all around me. The views of the rolling hills, corn fields, mountain ranges, flocks of birds, herds of cows and everything else I saw along the way was truly magickal. I had this strong sense of being out in the world doing my thing, going where I need to go and having the freedom and ability to go any where and do anything that I must. It was truly magnificent. I was also feeling great excitement for arriving at this new place. One really amazing thing I noticed the closer I got was this farm that had Longhorn Bulls. I had never seen them in real life before and it was incredible to see a Bull with horns of that size. Truly remarkable.
Once I arrived Rocio came out to greet me as well as her 3 dogs TJ, Yogi, and I forgot the other one’s name. They were all so sweet and happy. She gave me a generalization of the property and then info dumped a lot after that. We didn’t do a full tour because someone else was arriving the next day. I parked my car and unloaded some stuff into this really nice camper. It has running water and electricity. Since I arrived first I also got to choose the side I wanted. I got the actually bedroom, the other side is more like a couch with a mattress on top of it. It’s a really cutesy space. I pretty much just got settled in for the rest of the evening and ate some food and chatted a bit more with Rocio and I met Maya as well. Maya is a German exchange student here for a semester which is really fascinating. Rocio gave me another info dump as well retouching on a few things she had said earlier. I also met Alyse because the fridge in her bus quit working for a bit so she had to put the food in the fridge in the camper. I met her son Rowan the next day. He is a very active kid. He is also remarkably mindful and thoughtful. There was one day it rained and his mom slipped down the steps so he came to let me know that the stairs were slippery and to be careful. If there was something I was doing like leaving a certain gate open that I didn’t know was supposed to stay closed he would kindly let me know that it needs to stay closed and why. The next day I woke up, did my practices and made chocolate chip pancakes. James arrived later in the morning and he got his stuff unloaded and put into the other side of the camper. We then toured the property which is a incredibly beautiful. As we toured Rocio gave bits of information about the property and task to do on it. When we got back we chatted briefly, then Rocio left to go help a friend and pick up some pizzas for dinner. I did more practices and also some journaling. Since I arrived I noticed I was being very judgmental. I was also noticing lots of uneasiness, nervousness, sadness and vulnerability. It was building so strongly my energy was incredibly off center. I was very very close to packing up and leaving. The reason I didn’t was because I knew I should talk to Jnanda about it first and get some guidance about the situation. I also felt that all of this arising was a big opportunity for growth and understanding. I also feel that part of the reason I didn’t want to be there is there wasn’t a ton of structure with how things are run. It also felt like Rocio wants/expects new people to come in and know what to do and how to do it day 1 and to kind of take over the daily task for her. Part of the system is a list of what needs to be done every day, plus the projects list. It is up to us to talk amongst each other and sign up for what we want to do/what needs to be done. We are also supposed to initial beside the task and write the hours we spent doing it (4 hours of work a day, 5 days a week). When I first got here I had hopes of learning a lot. I was definitely learning a lot, however it wasn’t about what I thought I was going to learn. I knew I was going to learn more about myself and momentums that I have and I thought I was going to learn more about farming and animal care but there wasn’t much of that going on the days I was there. I also feel if I had asked questions to learn/be shown things then those learning opportunities would be there however I was expecting that she would be out there doing stuff with us and the learning opportunities would arise that way. That has been a big lesson I am learning the past few weeks is to release all expectations and any attachments to outcomes. After I had talked with Jnanda about my experience I was better able to embrace the situation and the things arising. I started to enjoy my time more and be centered. One of the projects Rocio needed completed was a drainage tube for the washing machine buried from the house across the edge of the driveway so that it could run downhill into the river instead of back into the basement. She had kind of a temporary solution for the water. It was some hoses coming out of the basement window, connected to. a pvc pipe, which connected to a large gutter which sent the water to the side of the house. I took out the gutter and left the pvc pipe because it was a good component to have. I then dug out the trench to lay the tube in there. It took me a 1 1/2 days to do within the time frame of the work hours. It was really enjoyable. I was able to dig away, chant some mantras and also explain to Rowan what it was I was doing and why. He had never seen anyone dig a trench before and was really fascinated by it so he wanted to watch. One day I also spent all 4 hours weeding a garden bed. The garden layout was incredible and one I will keep in mind. The garden space was good sized with an incredible amount of variety and if up kept well would definitely have a great yield. The garden is in desperate need of weeding. Every single bed is full of them and even some walking paths are hard to make out as paths. It was really nice weeding that one bed tho. It was some pumpkin plants and tomato plants. I could feel the life in the plants increasing the more I pulled the weeds out. When I finished I took the weeds to the donkeys so they could munch on them. The goats ended up getting into them as well. I then grabbed some hay and donkey poop to cover the bare dirt in the garden bed. The life of that garden bed and the plants had increased greatly by the time I had finished. It would’ve been nice to do that with all of the beds and really get that garden back in tip top shape. I ended up leaving on Wednesday because I was looking at my bank account the day before and taking into account some of the car maintenance I need to do as well as cost for going out west and coming back I realized I needed to go ahead and come back to Spartanburg and start working. Before I left Rocio treated me to breakfast at a local coffee shop and she also asked for feedback. I gave her some solid feedback which she accepted very well and was grateful for. The coffee and breakfast quiche were delicious and I am very grateful for it. After that I followed her to her friend’s house to help her hook up a boat so she could take it back to her property. When we arrived they cleaned out the boat and we filled up the tires. We then rotated the boat so that when Rocio pulled it out it wouldn’t crush some bushes that were beside it. We got it hooked up and moved out of the spot a bit. After that her friends treated us to lunch. It was a vegetable tomato bisque type soup and salad. It was very delicious and nutritious. They were really fun people and we had some great conversations. One of the ladies husband was 92 years old and I never would’ve guessed it. He didn’t seem any where close to 92. Once we finished eating I got in my car and headed on back. It was a really fun ride. I had some incredible views and great tunes. I also passed through 2 tunnels on my way down and I haven’t done that since I was a kid. It was a very fun and surreal experience. When I was coming through Asheville the temperature dropped quite a bit which felt great. I didn’t take any pictures while I was in TN because I didn’t make the time to do so.
Once I was in Asheville it started to set in how close I was to Spartanburg and how long it had been. Once I finally started to come through Spartanburg I was just like wow. It felt so odd to be back here. It was interesting coming back to a place that I know like the back of my hand yet it felt a little unfamiliar. This place doesn’t feel like home like it used too. I have lots of amazing friends and family here that I Love dearly and have immense gratitude for however I feel that now home is elsewhere. Where that is I am not sure exactly. I have a feeling of where that might be but I have to see how the path unfolds before I know for certain. All I know is that South Carolina is not where I will be settling down. With all that being said it still feels odd being back here but I am really glad to be back and getting to see everyone, catch up and see all the changes that have been made here.
When I arrived back into town I went straight to the cottonwood to do some practices and ground myself. Then I went by Willy Taco to see all of the wonderful people there. The roster hadn’t changed as much as I thought it would and it was wonderful seeing everyone. I was also able to pick up a double for Thursday because Betsy and Kevin didn’t want their shifts. Super grateful for that. After I visited Willy Taco I went to go say hey to the people at Fr8yard. It was really nice seeing all of the wonderful people there as well and catching up a bit. After that I met Don and Grace at Pokinori to catch up and get some dinner. That was amazing. It was really nice seeing them after it had been so long and there was quite a bit to catch up on. The poke bowl was also top tier. It really hit the spot. I left there and finally went back to my moms and step dads house to catch up and they are also gracious enough to let me stay there any time I am in town which I am incredibly grateful for. We only chatted for a little bit tho because it was already kind of late and we were all getting tired. I also got to see the 5 little weeny dogs too. They are all so cute and silly.
The next day I slept in a bit, then did some practices and showered and left for my first day back at work. I stopped by the local coffee shop to say hello to the owner and get a good cup of dark roast coffee. Then I stopped by the Fresh Market on my way to get some snackies and a kombucha for the day. The first day back was actually a lot of fun! I got to see all of my great coworkers, tell them all about my adventures and get caught up on whats new with them. It didn’t take me long to get back into my rhythm either. All of the guest that came in were amazing as well. I got to tell many of them about my travels and all that I did as well. One of my regulars came in as well which was so amazing. It was absolutely wonderful to see her again and catch up. I also still remembered her order which was great. I made really good money for the day as well which is amazing.
Yesterday I woke up and made some yummy eggs for breakfast. Then I went to the Cottonwood to do my practices. There is a really nice and peaceful spot out there that is great for relaxing, introspecting, etc. without a ton of people walking by or walking up on you. After I did my practices I met Owen at Little River to catch up and grab some coffee. It was so nice getting to see them. It was great getting to hear about all of the wonderful things they are working on and working through. I am very proud of them and the steps they are taking. After we got coffee we went to their car to listen to some of their demo of the music they are workin on. It was absolutely incredible and way better than I imagined their music would be. After that we went for lunch. We were going to go to Monsoon Noodle House however they closed in 30 minutes and I don’t like going to restaurants 30 minutes before they close. Sometimes I won’t even go an hour before they close. We went to the Tea Star Cafe which is another thai restaurant which also has a really nice tea menu. We decided to walk there and it was a really nice walk. When we got there we decided to sit outside since it was such a beautiful day. I got the tofu pad thai and a coconut oolong tea. I had never had that tea before and it was really nice. If I had looked closer and saw the pu-erh tea I would’ve gone with that. The food was amazing as always. The service was great as well. The guy actually recommended the tea I got and it was a great recommendation. After we left there we went to Hub City Scoops to get ice cream which was a great idea. They had my favorite ice cream of theres there. I honestly don’t remember the name tho because it is a long name. The ice cream was an excellent treat! After that we walked back to the cars and listened to the rest of their demo. After we finished that we went about the rest of our days. I went over the Fr8yard because there are some coworkers that work there full time now that I hadn’t seen yet so I went to see them. It was really great getting to see them again! When I left there I went home to do some practices, work on this blog post and hangout with my mom for a bit.
Today I woke up a little late because I am still adjusting to the change in my sleep schedule. Once I did my practices I left the house to go to this free bike repair event at the YMCA. When I got there it seemed like a minor quick fix kind of event and my bike needs a whole tune up. It only has some minor damages but there are some things with the workings of the bike that need to be looked at and fixed. I had a call with Saucha at 10 to catch up and to continue our weekly-ish meetings. It was absolutely wonderful and it really aided me with the transitions that have occurred since I left the Ashram. After that call I went to the Little River Roastery for breakfast, tea and to read a little bit. It was a really nice morning. I then went to work for the day. It was really nice! I got to see more people from the crew that I hadn’t seen yet and I also met some new people. I had some amazing guest today, especially my last ones for the night. It was their first time here and they just moved here from Boston. It was a pleasure to serve them and be there for their first time at Willy Taco. I do hope to serve them again. Ryan made a coffee run for everybody as well. I got a cold brew with some chocolate in it and it was absolutely delicious. The brunch menu had been revamped as well. They took off the gaucho skillet which was my favorite option however now there is a breakfast bowl which is excellent. I replaced the brussel sprouts with the black beans because our brussels aren’t vegetarian since they are dropped in the fryers with all of the meat that gets tossed in there. It was a really good meal. I also made really good today. It is also nice because I can recite some mantras as I work to aid in building Divine momentums.
Some things I have noticed since returning are the ego wanting to slip back into old habits which I am not allowing to happen. Those habits will never return and I will fully break those cycles while I am here. I have also noticed that with the beginning part of my practices I am a little distracted and thoughts are a bit all over the place and just coming in and out rapidly. However Saucha gave me some advice on how to work through that which I am really grateful for. I have also noticed the amount of opportunities for growth there are being here. Being back in these environments with fresh eyes is showing me things that I wasn’t aware of before and bringing momentums to my attention that I must work through. It is truly wonderful having all of these things brought to my attention and having the opportunities and the tools to work through them.
As of right now I will be in Spartanburg until around the 30th and then I will be in Greer for the 2 weeks after that. During the time I am in Spartanburg I plan on using it to catch up with all of my Spartanburg peoples and then do the same for my Greer/Greenville peoples while I am in that area. That way I am not driving all over the place and stretching myself too thin and not making the time for the things I need to make time for. Doing it this way is much more manageable and I am able to make time for everyone and everything. If any one knows of any odd ball jobs I can pick up while I am here for some extra cash that would be great!
I want to say thank you all so much for your continuous Love and support! There are still so many people I haven’t seen yet and I am so excited to see you all, catch up and hangout. I Love you all so very much and I am so grateful for each and every one of you.
Until next time
Namaste’ :)
